Lady of the Lane Confesses All!

I was really excited when Charlie aka Lady of the Lane volunteered for the Friday Confessional. I was sure she would have a few naughty gems hidden from the beauty blogging public. So I was concerned when Charlie said she was struggling to think of something to write. Surely she wasn't going to show me up and be a true paragon of cosmetic virtue? It turns out she was just struggling with where to start.....

Confession is good for the soul, go ahead and unburden yourself! I promise I won’t judge.

I am the ultimate. I have so many confessions, my problem will be narrowing this list down so I don’t write too much. Where to start? Ok like previous confessors before me, I have been fond of the Sun In.

I’ll start with tales from my teens. I wasn’t allowed make up until I was 15 maybe? But I had a school friend whose mum was an Avon lady and so I managed to get myself a fair little collection. I had the obligatory electric blue mascara, sky blue eyeliner, frost pink lipstick and a tub of loose powder in a beautiful golden fuchsia (which incidentally I would love to have now). Since I wasn’t allowed to wear make up, the only time I could wear it was to do my paper round. So yes, I’d pile the lot on before I went and clean it all off before I got home. The most chavtastic, 80’s papergirl on the block. That was me.

Nowadays, of course I’m a paragon of beauty perfection. See the following for examples of my perfect behaviour.

•   Brush washing, um…every three months maybe? So skanky I know, sometimes I get a conscience   about my foundation brush and that gets in between washes, I think because it’s applying wet products.

•   What else? I’m a picker and a squeezer, I know I shouldn’t, I have the scars to prove it, but I still can’t stop, I guess it’s a compulsion.

•   Um, often in winter, I can go for quite some time without shaving my legs. I can’t ever bring myself to skip my armpits but yes, legs, I go through phases of doing them daily, and not being bothered until my legs resemble the Forest of Dean.

Hmmmm......!

•   Spots. I commit a cardinal sin, knowingly and defiantly. You ever get those spots that are too smooth and shiny to cover? Anything you put on slides immediately off? I’ll just keep layering the make up on. Concealer, powder, concealer, powder and so on. And yes, you can see it. Yes it’s obvious, and yes, sometimes it’s orange. I just have such a thing about spots I’d rather have an orange blob on my face than a visible spot. Entirely ridiculous, I barely ever notice if someone else has a blemish, but if I have one I feel like a total freak of nature. I know the make up is worse. I’m not thick, but I can’t help it.

•   Let me think now. What else could there be? My toenails… I like to polish them every few months, but I rarely remove it to put on a nice coat of polish on, no it can be there months, chipping away before I finally decide to sort it out.

•   I don’t think I’ve ever moisturised my whole body. Upper arms and lower legs get done after every bath or shower, but other bits, well, sometimes they get done, but never ever do I sit and do my entire body.

There, don’t you feel better now? Not really. I’m expecting to lose a few blog readers….

Aunty Brown has a few more questions though; it’s true that I’m the nosy type.

When was the last time you visited the hairdresser?

After my first baby was born I really struggled to find the time to get my hair done so my hairdresser offered to come to the house to do it. As a result I have mine done approximately every 10 weeks.

You have a choice: bad hair or bad nails?

Without a shadow of a doubt bad nails. People notice your hair much more than your nails. If my nails were messed up (which they were, I’ve bitten my nails all my life) I could stick on some falsies at a relatively low cost, but if my hair was ruined then there’d be no hiding it without a hat full time or a wig.

What is the oldest item of make up in your collection?

I really don’t know! I don’t think I’ve got anything older than three years? I regularly turn over my stuff!

Which trend still makes you cringe?

Clearly my worse ever horror was dark liner, nude lips. My only great relief in life is that that I never felt compelled to hairspray my fringe up in a huge vertical style.

-------------------------------------------

What can I say? A true corker of a confession. The Confessional is very similar to Pringles in the sense that once you start, it's very hard to stop! Thank you very much to Charlie for sharing.

If you would like to take a turn and unburden yourself in the Friday Confessional you can email me at modestybrown@googlemail.com. It's open to everyone: if you have something to confess, I'm happy to hear it!